May 11 2010
It’s a pretty crazy thing when someone asks what you want your long-term goals are, or essentially, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and the answer is, “this”.
I learned a while ago that making plans is fairly useless (hard for a planner to figure out!), because God’s going to do what He wants regardless, and we have to be ready to abandon our agendas to jump on board. So while I believe God could redirect my paths and give me new passions in the future, for now, this is what I want to do. No other plans or dreams…I’m living what I’ve dreamt of for a while.
Today I woke up, took the daily walk to the gym where I worked out, then met up with a friend for breakfast at The Griddle Cafe – one of my new favorite Hollywood spots. After coming home and working for a bit, I hit a tired slump in the middle of the afternoon. So I laid down on my bed and read for a while, then headed out into the beautiful sun to walk to the store for a break, returning home to blog. Just a few months ago, a friend and I were describing our perfect days, if we could do anything we wanted. The above pretty much matches that description, minus some time at the beach…
The other part of my ideal day was having time to spend with people I meet on the street through Broken Hearts. Though that wasn’t part of this day, it has been in most of my previous days. A few nights ago, one friend called to ask if I wanted to grab dinner and hang out. That never would have happened when I was living in the OC. Just a few days prior, he and I had hung out, and he showed me spots around Hollywood where he used to sleep on the streets.
Just after he called, another friend let me know he was struggling with suicidal thoughts, and we had the opportunity to talk for a long time – about some of both of our traumatic experiences and how we get through tough times. Most of the time when I open my mouth, I have no clue what I’m talking about. But somehow God uses that, and he used my simple words and experiences in life to encourage someone going through a very hard time.
The past few weekends I’ve been able to take a few friends to church, both seeking to find out who God is, while looking for help, rest, healing, real relationships. I had the privilege of not only spending time with them at church, but getting to hang out with them and another friend afterward.
One day the four of us, 2 Christians and 2 non-Christians, 2 males and 2 females from incredibly different backgrounds went out to lunch after church. We spent a long time talking about life, questions that one of them had, and getting to see a recovering addict minister and offer friendship to a current addict. My friend Branden, someone I’d only known for a few weeks, sat next to me speaking truth and wisdom into their situations in a unique way that I couldn’t. But together we were able to work like a team on a night of Broken Hearts, listening, sharing our perspectives, and bringing unique gifts to the table.
The people across the table were largely looking for friendships and people to share their lives with. I found it true joy to not only be able to offer that to them, but also to receive their friendship as well.
The other girl said at the end of the conversation that God seems to work for us, that our lives seem to be going pretty well, so maybe it’s worth her exploring it.
That’s what I want to do when I grow up. This is it. I want to make myself available for God to use, despite all of my weaknesses, flaws and incompetence. To offer help and hope to those in need. To share Jesus with those who don’t know Him and the joy of a relationship with Him… and to see Him work.
There’s no greater joy than seeing and experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirit. The afternoon walks around the city and banana pancakes in the morning are just the icing on the cake. 
