Apr 16 2010
An ex-San Quentin death row criminal, a pregnant lady often referred to as “Big Mama” and a blonde, white girl from suburbia. The reason the combination of these three exists could be just about anything. But perhaps the weirdest is because they all voluntarily chose to hang out in a home, share dinner, and spend the evening together talking, and watching a movie.
Yep, just a typical weeknight for me now that I live in Hollywood.
Our friend’s Bear and Helen from Broken Hearts invited me over to dinner at their new apartment this week to have dinner and hang out. But let’s back up….
I met Helen 3 years ago when I started Broken Hearts and she was working security at Del Taco. For many months, she barely acknowledged me and didn’t seem interested in knowing anything about me. Fast forward by many months and traumatic situations, and she was finally ready to try a program, find a place to stay, and get sober. A few months later, she gave birth to a baby boy and several of the girls from BH were there to throw her a shower and visit the new baby.
About a year in, she switched programs and met Bear. He’d been in the program for a while, on parole from a long stint in San Quentin prison for murder charges.
A few months ago, I sat in their church and watched Bear propose to Helen in front of all of their friends and church members. In February, I walked down the aisle before Helen as her maid of honor, and she clung to Antquan’s arm as he walked her down the aisle and gave her away. A few weeks ago I attended a funeral for Bear’s beloved uncle who they’d been taking care of for several months.
We’ve come a long way in this relationship.
Dinner this week served as another milestone – they’d found a place of their own – the first for either of them in years. A home for Helen, Bear and their son Jorge. And they want to share that with everyone in Broken Hearts.
After Bear cooked us dinner, we sat and watched Blood in Blood Out about gangs in LA. Throughout, I asked all kinds of questions and Bear and Helen filled me in on what prison is like, gang life, and their own stories. I heard about Bear’s days on death row, meeting Charles Manson and other famous criminals; heard about how to make various weapons in prison, how drugs and money get in and out of prison; and heard the story of how he so brutally beat a man (the details still make me cringe) that he nearly killed him and got out of prison after 15 years because he got off with only manslaughter charges.
I sat there on the couch, almost wanting to laugh. I was sitting so comfortably in the home of people that I pretty much consider family by this point…recognizing these are the “type of people” that so many of us try to avoid.
But that’s the power of God. Not only did He drastically change and save the lives of this man and woman, but then brought them together with a group of young adults from Orange County whose lives had also been changed. We couldn’t be more different or understand each other less. But we have Christ in common.
Helen walked me out that night and shared some heavy things that were on her heart, including how she doesn’t trust anyone. I asked if her pastor could help her with a certain situation, and she said she didn’t even trust them. “I only trust you, and Antquan, and all those guys [Broken Hearts]. Other than that, I don’t trust nobody”. Wow.
What do you make of that? I still don’t know. But I know it’s the Jesus in all of us that allows her to trust us. And it’s Him who brought us together.
Today Helen delivered her new baby – a 9lb boy named Dallas. I went with our friend Sirivi to visit – a whole other story about two totally different people hanging out for another time. 
And so the journey and the relationships continue – to point each other, and those around us to the One who flips the world upside-down and makes all things new.
