A few months ago, a friend told me that I should write a book. He did more than suggest an idea, though – he encouraged it while explaining why I could, and the potential benefits of it. He made me feel like I actually had something worth saying that could also reap finances to further ministry. After that I starting thinking about it and dreaming about the possibility. Later, someone else gave me a prophetic word which included the same topic. I observed other books from leaders of similar ministries and the idea seemed even more tangible – and exciting.

Not long after, I was at a conference, and during worship  I felt God addressing the broken lens through which I view myself. He pointed out words that have been spoken to me so many times, I truly believe that’s who I am. He said it wasn’t. That when I think I have nothing to say or no place to speak because no one cares or I’m not amazing at public speaking it’s a lie. The lies needed to be acknowledged, and then He spoke truth to me and said my thoughts and experiences do matter and I am capable of  sharing them publicly.  That he’s the one who speaks through me and it’s not up to my talent. At the end of that conference I had some prophetic prayer, and some of what they spoke was about this identity issue and authority, influence, and speaking.

A while later, I took a sabbath where I spent more time – more intimate time – with God than I ever have. One of the many things He spoke was about how I perceive myself that stops me from being used the way he wants me to. I felt that he wanted me to teach this year. The first prophetic word from months before had also included teaching, and now it felt more realistic. After such intense time with him, His Spirit filled me so fully and had taught me so much, the idea of teaching seemed fairly easy. At least on certain topics I’d become familiar with or that he’d put on my heart, because it was flowing from His Spirit out of my mind and mouth.

I’ve never considered writing a book or speaking in front of groups or teaching on the street. Neither really appealed to me that much. Sure, I wrote a lot when I was younger and wanted to be a novelist. Now the writing I enjoy is blogs or journalism, so a book didn’t sound all that exciting  anymore. Or if it did, I would have to have a brilliant idea first to compel people to read it, and I knew I’d never have that. In that same perfectionist bent, I observe preachers who are amazing and know I just don’t have that same gift. And if I don’t, then why try? Others can do it so much better. I don’t particularly enjoy speaking in front of people anyway…

But when people suggested I write, or responded to my brief sharings in groups or at church, it made me wonder. When God seemed to push me in the same direction, saying I could  and should, even if it wasn’t perfect, my confidence grew. Not to be amazing, but that God could use it if that’s what he wanted.

I visited a church on Sunday, and the pastor spoke about the following, which resonated with me:

“He who comes to God must believe that HE IS. Must believe that IT IS. Must believe that YOU ARE. Must belief that YOU CAN. God rewards your belief. He rewards your expectation.So if God has said this “thing” about you, then you move in it so he can manifest what he said about you. That’s how it works. He doesn’t say “this thing” about you once you come to the realization that you’re that. There’s no faith for that. If he says, “(insert your name here) this is who you are.” You say, “Ah, I got it”, and you start acting like what that person does. And then he rewards you with what he said.”

So I committed to preaching on the streets, at least once in a while, and teaching briefly at our Street Ministry 101 classes. These are things I’m passionate about, and with some prep, the ideas came fairly easily. When I stood up to talk on the street or in class, I wasn’t really nervous. In fact, I felt confident. I knew it wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t really care. I knew God was challenging me to speak, so I took up that mantle and spoke what was on my heart. All of a sudden, I believed I could do it, that I had something valuable worth saying. The feedback of people who heard my words was encouraging and made me believe even more that I could do this.

God said “You can speak. You can share your story. It matters. You are capable with me”. I said, “um, okay….” and started acting like a teacher and a writer. And when I started acting like it, he blessed me with what he said. It’s not that hard, and with learning and growth, I might actually be good at it.

This week at our Street Ministry Class I spoke about the power of words, as I’d already been learning. We speak what we see is possible to those in need of encouragement. We speak what God sees in the supernatural, not what we see in the natural. As we speak, we give life. As God speaks, HE gives life. When we act in what he’s spoken, he blesses it. Pastor Toure, who spoke the words above, could not have been more accurate.

Speak words of life to yourself and to others, because when you do, you will actually become what God has already declared you are. Don’t wait until you feel ready, don’t wait until others have proven themselves to affirm them. Act like the person God has said you can be, tell others to do the same, and God will accomplish more than you could ever think or imagine.

Proverbs 18:21 ”Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”